Half Assed Apple Crisp

I'm trying to be a more responsible person and use up my produce before it turns to slime in the bottom of my fridge.

 

It's harder than it sounds.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a bag of apples at the grocery store because it was cheaper to buy a bag of apples than to buy three individual apples. Because that makes sense, right? I used the apples I immediately desired, then left the rest of the bag in a bowl with shallots and lemons, never to be heard from again.

 

Worry not! I did eventually remember those apples, and when life gives you apples, you make apple crisp.

 

However, when life gives you faulty neurotransmitters, you might not do so well with the reading-recipes, following-instructions, washing-sixty-five-measuring-spoons aspects of baking. That's when it's time to half ass it.

 

Here's how I half assed my apple crisp. Perhaps it will inspire you to create something edible of your own future fridge slime.

 

Step One: Butter the dish. I used a square Pyrex dish. I slathered butter on it with my hands until it appeared adequately slathered in butter.

Step Two: Slice the apples. I sliced my apples straight into the buttered baking dish. I kept going until the dish was about 75% full with apples. I then threw the apple peels out the back door for the birds to eat.

Step Three: Flavor that bitch. I dumped a few spoonfuls of sugar, a spoon of cinnamon, a few shakes of nutmeg, a shake of black pepper, and a weeee tiny drizzle of vanilla on top of the apples. I used my hands to toss everything together in the dish until the stuff seemed evenly distributed.

Step Four: Top it off. In my smallest mixing bowl, I thwacked in another hunk of butter (maybe two tablespoons?), some brown sugar, some quick-cook oats, and a little bit of flour. I squished all this together until it was combined and crumbly. Then I dumped it on top of the apples and spread it out.

Step Five: Bake it. I stuck mine in the oven at 350*F for maybe 35 minutes or so, until my kitchen smelled like a candle store.

 

If you have any freezer burnt ice cream lingering behind your broccoli and peas, break that out too. 

Sometimes being responsible can be downright delicious.