What's in My Fridge?

I was planning to do this post sometime next month, but my stove went wacko this week and now the only way to turn it off is by flipping the breaker. This means I can't use my oven without the stove running full speed for an hour and a half, which means I can't bake you cookies, which means I'm strapped for content, which is why today I'mma show you what's in my fridge. Yaaaaay!

I was planning to spend the next month unofficially cleaning out my fridge so there wouldn't be anything embarrassing in there when I showed it to the whole internet, but since desperate times call for desperate measures, today you are getting a completely uncensored look at the inside of my fridge. With the exception of the bag of chocolate chips that I took out and then started eating and never remembered to photograph. Whoops.

The first thing you'll notice once you find my fridge (it's that big thing buried under the pile of crap and the Zits cartoon) is its lack of organization. It was organized once. That was a long time ago.

The second thing you'll notice is the collection of salad dressing. I don't eat salad--nor does my carnivorous roommate--but somehow we ended up with five different kinds of dressing. I do not understand this phenomenon.

I also have Miracle Whip "dressing" and mayo.

Next up: pickles. Lots and lots and lots of pickles. And jalapenos. But mostly pickles. I'd love to tell you I bought the pickles for a recipe, but I didn't. I just love pickles. Mostly because they make for great dirty jokes. I did, however, buy the jalapenos for a recipe.

Then I have spaghetti fixin's and a jar of roasted red peppers.

After that, there are a ton of jelly-type substances. I don't actually eat jelly on anything, but somehow I have a fridge full of it.

And, of course, more condiments.

I also happen to have some ketchup left over from Brand Wars. If anyone has a recipe for ketchup ANYTHING, please let me know. (Just kidding. That would be gross.)

Moving on to the second shelf, we have a wide selection of fizzy beverages, including sparkling grape juice and peach Fresca. Peach Fresca isn't nearly as good as alcoholic peach lemonade, but it's okay.

Also, there is yogurt on the second shelf. The second shelf tends to be a catchall.....but then, my entire fridge is a catchall.

Then we have the big, tall shelf which houses the big, tall pitcher of iced tea. And water. And milk. But mostly the iced tea, because iced tea is amazing. (I've been having iced tea withdrawals since my stove has been on the fritz. It might be time for me to learn to make sun tea.)

Underneath the iced tea is the best part of the entire fridge: the cheese drawer. I love the cheese drawer. It holds the cheese. I love cheese. I love cheese more than I love iced tea. That's a big, big love. Right now my cheese drawer holds a package of Laughing Cow Creamy Swiss cheese, a package of American Cheese, a bag of cheese sticks, a box of cream cheese, some provolone, some sliced Swiss, two bags of mozzarella, a bag of mild cheddar, a bag of sharp cheddar, a little shredded Parmesan, and some stowaway fake meat and old pepperoni. (Someone please leave an old pepperoni joke in the comments.)

The next shelf is typically home to all the meat, but since I have the house to myself this week, that's where where my bagels are chilling (no pun intended). Bagels and lettuce.

Bagels and lettuce and apple sauce.

(All those eyeballs are from April Fools Day, by the way. They've been falling off things and appearing randomly all over my kitchen since April.)

All the way at the bottom we have two drawers: the candy drawer and the overflow condiments drawer. The candy drawer currently contains half a bag of Easter-themed mini Kit-Kats, two full-sized Kit-Kat bars, a strip of snack-sized Kit-Kats (I like Kit-Kats), some 3 Musketeers, a bag of old scummy Halloween candy, a bag of caramel filled Kisses, a bag of mint filled Kisses, two strips of snack-sized Hershey bars (for S'mores), chocolate chips, Andes Peppermint Chips, three Holiday Mint White Chocolate Hershey bars, a bag of mini Reeses, a bar of orange-flavored Moser Roth chocolate, a bar of chili-flavored Moser Roth chocolate, a bar of mint-flavored Moser Roth chocolate, and the remnants of our Costco-sized package of Kraft Singles.

The first shelf on the door holds the margarine and butter.

The second shelf usually holds water bottles, but lately it has become an all-around beverage holder to include my roommate's post-mowing Gatorade, lime juice, and whipped cream. Yes, whipped cream should be considered a beverage.

Finally, we have the booze. Since I don't have any super-girly alcohol right now, I've opted for tonic water (gin and tonics) and root beer (for root beer and rum).

And that, my friends, is my fridge! I'd love to snoop on yours, so if you do a similar post leave me a link in the comments!